Annie Sprinkle:

SEX GUIDELINES - YOU CAN HEAL YOUR SEX LIFE IN A 13 STEP PROGRAMME

STEP 1:
HONOUR YOUR SEXUALITY AND REALISE ITS INCREDIBLE VALUE
Sex can cure a headache, relieve stress and tension, help digestion, relieve menstrual cramps, clear the mind, open you up to feelings, create life, and cure depression. Research shows that just sex will strengthen your immune system. Sex can bond people together, relieve loneliness, not to mention the fact that it can feel real good and be a hell of a lot of fun.
When our sexuality is repressed, there is violence. We develop disease, tension, frustration, anxiety, addictions and a whole host of other destructive disorders.
I'm not advocating that everyone run out and have lots of promiscuous sex all over the place. I mean, simply, allow your sexual energy to flow freely, pleasurably, guiltlessly through your body. You can be celibate, and still honour and express your sexuality.

STEP 2:
DO NOT JUDGE YOURSELF OR OTHERS
We are all at the right place at the right time in our sexual evolution. Our sex lives, like all parts of our lives, go through many phases. We learn from our experiences, including our ”mistakes”. Appreciate everyone's sexual differences. Allow others their own paths. Allow yourself your own path. Whenever you find yourself being judgemental of your own or others’ sexuality, try to repiace the judgement compassion.

STEP 3:
GET RID OF ANY LAST VESTIGES OF SEXUAL GUILT AND FEELINGS THAT YOU DON'T DESERVE PLEASURE
We are all sexual beings. It is our birthright to enjoy sex.

STEP 4:
ABSTINENCE CAN BE DANGEROUS TO YOUR HEALTH
If you like sex, don't give it up.
It's too precious.

STEP 5:
ACCEPT THE FACT THAT WE ARE LIVING IN THE AIDS ERA
Stop complaining that sex isn't the way it used to be and that you hate condoms. Yes, you may need to mourn for the way it was, but then get over it and accept reality. Total acceptance of the AIDS era will release fear and frustration, and bring awareness and compassion. Educate yourself about safe sex practices. Learn to love latex. Use condoms when you need to, so we can stop the spread of AIDS and other sexualIy transmitted diseases. Let your sexual energy flow. Open those floodgates. Realise that AIDS is not caused by your sexuality. There are hundreds of ways of to be wonderfully sexual without risking any exposure to disease, or exposing someone else. Know that you can TRUST yourself and control yourself to have sex that is not risky.

STEP 6:
-REDEFINE YOUR CONCEPT OF SEX
Expand your concept of what sex is. Find new ways to makke love, to be intimate, and to express your sexual feelings. Let got of the old ideas of what sex is ”supposed to be like”. Be creative and experimental

STEP 7:
LEARN TO FOCUS ON ENERGY NOT THE WAY YOUR BODY TOUCHES
It is possible to have an incredible, delirious sexual expierence with someone else without even touching by focusing on the energy between you. It’s like learning a new language. At first feeling the energy will be subtle, but before long you will be able to feel where it is in your body, and you will be able to move it around with the power of your own thought and will. Then you can focus this energy to heal something in your body, send it to a sick friend, use it to meditate, pray, etc. Focusing on energy will greatly intensify any touching. Plus, you will seldom lose energy during sex because you will know how to keep building it.

STEP 8:
REALISE THAT SEX IS LIKE FOOD
Many people are shutting down their sexuality because they have come to realise that they had a lot of addictive and self-destructive behaviour around sex. But you have a choice, just like you do with what you eat. The way I see it, there is junk sex, health sex, and gourmet sex. Junk sex is very fast, very genitally focused, and not always very nourishing. It can even be harmful to your physical and emotional well-being. Health sex is healing and nourishing. Gourmet sex takes a lot of time to prepare and savour, and it takes skill and knowledge. Try to make selfloving choices as to what kind of sex you have, but if you don't, then awid punishing yourself for it.

STEP 9:
LEARN ABOUT YOUR BREATH
Sexual and orgasmic energy can travel on the breath. Deep, conscious, rhythmic breathing can make sex much more powerful and satisfying. In fact, it is possible to have orgasms from breathing alone, without any touching (is this the safe sex of the future?). It's the best thing since the invention of the vibrator! Learning that breath was the most important key to great sex came as a big surprise to me, and is perhaps the single most important key I’ve learned.

STEP 10:
TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY
Eat well. Exercise. Pamper your body with long, hot baths and obscenely expensive toiletries.

STEP 11:
PICTURE A SAFE AND SATISFYING FUTURE
FOR YOUR SEX LIFE AND THE SEX LIFE OF FUTURE GENERATIONS
Our society is stil in kindergarden when it comes to sex. There is so much more potential. Past cultures iIke the Tantrics, Taoists, some native American tribes, and the sacred prostitutes from Sumeria and Mesopotamia were much more advanced sexually. We can learn much from them.

STEP 12:
MAKE TIME FOR ENJOYING SEX
The average length for intercourse amongst married couples in the United States is two minutes, yet many hours are spent watching television. If you like sex, give yourself and others the gift of sensual/sexual pleasure. It's well worth the time. Throw away your TV if you need to.

STEP 13:
MAKE LOVE TO THE EARTH AND SKY AND ALL THINGS, AND THEY WILL MAKE LOVE TO YOU
Open yourself to the ecstacy that's available just for the asking, and it will affect everything in your life. You are guaranteed many, many benefits. For one thing, you will find that perfect, ideal lover that you have been searching for for so long.

That lover is yourself.

Annie Sprinkle